Two Thousand and Eighteen…
Last year my goal was to persist. To make progress with my dreams, no matter how small. And I did that- sort of. I took baby steps. Very, very small baby steps. It wouldn’t be visible to the naked eye, but I was writing and reading and planning and dreaming- all through 2018.
Why haven’t you seen the fruit of my efforts, you ask? Because I’ve come to a wall. You know the one- fear. He stands tall, just taunting me and paralyzing me. Walls usually don’t talk, but this one does. He mocks me and tells me what I create isn’t good enough. That people will judge me. That these plans won’t go anywhere. It’s funny, because of course they won’t go anywhere as long as I’m too scared to try. And I confess: I am a scaredy cat. A scaredy cat that has been called to do things and be bold as I walk them out.
When did I lose confidence in myself and trust in God- that I am fully capable of doing what He has called me to? That if He truly has called me to do something, it will be successful?
I don’t know where I lost it. But it’s killing me being stagnant. I’m tired of the overwhelm that comes when I allow doubt to creep in my head. I’m exhausted of sitting in front of the fear-wall when all I want is on the other side of it, if I’ll just stand up and walk through it. Because let’s be honest, fear only has the substance I allow it to have. And I’ve allowed it way too long.
Here’s to 2019.
Where I will be taking the little steps and big steps. The easy steps and the hard steps. All the steps that are on the other side of fear.
Here’s to Jesus.
Who has equipped me, called me, and walks beside me.
Here’s to YOUR new year. I hope you muster up the courage to walk through the wall of fear as well.❤️